"What do you do?"

I’ve often wondered in my everyday life why I’m not happy and content with a normal nine to five life. Why the thought of having a house and kids and living in suburbia just doesn’t sit right with me. Going to work, going home, talking about a job that doesn’t really matter when you are thinking in a bigger picture, always seemed to leave me with the same thought… I know that I am supposed to be doing something else. I remember last year I was at a dinner party with well to do ladies all ten to twenty years older than I. They were talking amongst themselves, talking about work and their careers. I remember when they asked me “what do you do?” Ah the magic question… “Well” I answered.. “ I am the Assistant manager at Starbucks” feeling as I always did that it just didn’t sound right. That my words at that moment didn’t match my heart as so often it seemed was the case when talking about “what I do”. I remember saying…”I’m not sure what I am going to do but I know I am supposed to be doing something else, helping people” I remember their faces when I was talking and I remember thinking… wow Melissa that sounded really random, but I knew in my heart that I needed to be doing something other than what I do. It wasn’t until this trip that I realized that it will be whatever God chooses for my path and I am completely content following and listening to my “random” feelings that I know in my heart is God leading me down my path.


Today is one of my last days in Kenya… and it was amazing. It was a beautiful sunny day and we all were just basking in our final time together. Us girls decided to take a walk and enjoy each other while seeing amazing countryside. Lush green land surrounding us in all directions, and warm sunshine warming our skin, we talked and laughed and shared our life. We walked for a couple hours, a little lost at one point, but content in our company. Then after lunch was able to take a couple more hours and ride around the hills on a bike, taking pictures of the land as if I won’t be back but knowing in my heart that I will.


As I rode today, I just remember being so thankful. Surrendered to gratitude for the time that I was allowed to be here. I didn’t know why God was leading me here when I left Seattle that day, but now I know there were many reasons. I have often wondered these last few weeks and wrote about how at times I just wish I knew now what I am supposed to do next, where I will go and what I am willing to give. But as I don’t have all of those questions answered now, most importantly what I do know now is this… God knows my heart and what I am able to give and my light that is longing to be shared. He knows why I have never felt complete in America working and “living the dream”. As it is true I do not know what is next, I am content knowing that my path is already laid out, I just need to listen. This time was a blessing for many reasons, many pages of my thoughts, but today I am thankful for the time I was given to reevaluate my path, my longings, and my relationship with God.