Loss for words

"And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand" ~Kahlil Gibran

I have wondered lately why it is that a lot of the time I am at a loss for words. Give me a pen, a journal, or a laptop and the words seem to flow as if I can literally feel them inside waiting to come out. When I am trying to do the same in speaking, the words seem stuck, caught in my heart, ten thousand words longing to be heard yet irretrievable and blank.

I read a quote today that helped me with my quietness, my constant comfort I find in being silent. “You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts”. I read that, tried to process and consider if I agree or not. I decided that that may not always be the truth. I believe there is a time for words, time to help others understand you and help them make sense of this world. I then decided this quote has a truth in it as well. The times I find myself speaking to soon, are most often the times I find myself saying things I don’t mean.

I’ve realized that although I don’t always have the right words at the right times, I believe that through my eyes certain people at certain times, can see everything that needs to be said. Even through the silence my eyes give me away. I believe my eyes can be my release, which at times make my eyes my enemy. My eyes seem to unlock my truth, a truth that at times all I want to do is keep to myself. I long at times to be able to keep the truth hidden to keep it all mine in a world that is quick to judge and quick to speak. I have also found that there are times that my words take away from my truth. They lessen the strength, they don’t sound like me or what I am feeling. So be it words of truth or eyes that speak, I will continue searching for the right relief of my emotions, to make myself let go of my ten thousand words waiting to be set free.