The Habit of Love

“You know it's love when all you want
is that person to be happy,
even if you’re not the reason
behind that happiness”

~~~Ah love and loss and hope and wants… How they seem to all go hand and hand. I feel as woman we so often put countless hours into the processing and wondering on which one is real. What guy will win our heart and then on to wondering if they are worth catching a glimpse of our eyes. I wrote the beginning of this blog months ago and then never finished it. As I reread the words, I couldn’t help but think about all of the conversations with my girlfriends these last few months. Hearing all of their hearts and wants I am seeing that we so often mere each other in alike desires and hopes. So I decided to think about these words once again, reflect on the subject of love. These words that I wrote from before, just may come in handy to help my girls while they are on what at times seems like an endless course of love and life….~~~~


I can’t help but wonder if loving you is a habit. A form of self indulgence really that is neither real nor fake because to claim it as real would be like making it something that was alive in the first place and to claim it as fake would take away from the aliveness that it felt like at the time. I think that love comes in many forms and when you want to move on and something grabs your attention, it is easy, but when life is stagnant and somewhat monotonous you hold onto a memory of aliveness that for all you know was never real to begin with.

So the question remains… Are there times we hold onto the thought of another merely because of a habit, so as to not have to move into a season of unknown? So many loves in our life are intense; we feel we fell in love for a reason so we hold onto what it was that made our heart race and our mind entangle in there web. And if you have to fall out of love, if you are not given a choice, what does that feel like? As if you are running and you’re not sure where you are running too. There is nothing you feel could change your mind on what you sense is supposed to be. So it starts, you start to go in circles hoping the circle will open up to an unlocked road, an open course of how you feel your life and love is supposed to go.


In our hope for love we catch a glimpse of what love seems to be, without truly knowing if that is what will even make us happy. Through countless hours on the phone with my girls and through my own heart I have seen both. Seen wants and desires and what works and what doesn’t, and through all this I in turn stumbled across what to me seems to be what we all are looking for. I am finding on this curvy road, when something feels right, when your heart races when another walks in the room and you can’t get enough of their smell or their thoughts, when you want to see their eyes that shine with you reflecting in them, that is when you have found what you are looking for.

So to think about the question, are there times we love another merely because of a habit….. maybe. Maybe love will forever be a natural habit that we fall into because we don’t want to let go. But with that, maybe if we feel in our hearts that it is plainly and undeniably unnatural to let go, then just maybe that is when it is real. Maybe that feeling is what we all are looking for and once we realize it, then we will realize we have found what we are looking for.