Cambodia.. "The comeback kid of SE Asia"

I wrote this during my time in Cambodia.. All the remarkable photographs were taken by Mr. Curtis Joyce... His pictures can tell a thousand words.




I saw a man wearing a shirt today, it read “War is costly, peace is priceless”. Those words spoke an indefinable truth to me today as I was walking through Siem Reap, Cambodia. This country, these people, all they have overcome, inspiring me to tell part of their story. Seeing their quiet demeanor with their gentle humor makes me have a constant smile on my face, and as I walk I notice so does everyone else.

They call Cambodia “The comeback kid of SE Asia” and after my first few days of visiting this awesome country my hope is this prophecy is correct. Cambodia when you look around seems to be alive in every way. The people are happy and lively, they have a sparkle in their eye and always a joke to make you laugh. The landscape is beautiful and the awe inspiring Angkor Wat draws thousands and thousands of eager tourists to Siem Reap, the quaint city that surrounds this unique and powerful wonders.



The powerful sights of Angkor Wat



Since the 1970s Cambodia has endured heartache after heartache through genocide, war, landmines, and the hands of individuals plagued with the wrong idea of what is right and what is so obviously wrong, the Khmer Rouge. To this day Cambodia is still dealing with landmines that are yet to be exploded and over 40,000 Cambodians have suffered amputations as a result of landmines. At the rate of cleanup for these landmines it is said it will take 100 years to rid this country of the landmines that are still in existence.



Photos taken at the Landmine museum in Siem Reap



As so many countries have seen in the past, the many years of war and killing haunt the now peaceful land. You can sense a quiet shadow as if the land and the people are in waiting, waiting for it to start a new. Holding their breath and slowly releasing while looking around to see if the peace is still here, and for now it seems it is.

Being here, seeing the land and seeing the beautiful faces, you can’t help but cry out with remorse over wrongs done to them. Cry out with pain when you see children with no parents, and cry out with anguish when you see the land mine victims still overcoming, continuing on with a gentle grace. There is hope here and it is growing daily. Hope that harmony will be a constant and lives will be rebuilt. Hope that they will always remember “war is costly, peace is priceless”.


A group of landmine victims playing music and raising money

Angkor Wat and Siem Reap are slowly taking advantage of its newfound status as “Asia’s historic hot spot”. This of course drawing more and more backpackers and travelers from all over the world, we included. Our time here is almost indescribable. We watched the sunrise over Angkor Wat, and watched it set from the top of the temple Pre up in Angkor Wat.


Sunrise over Angkor Wat on Curt's Birthday


Watching the sunset on top of the temple Pre Up

We visited a land mine museum, became educated on the calamity of landmines. We walked the markets of Siem Reap and bought beautiful scarves. We rode our bikes mile after mile in the glowing sun to see the amazing sights of Angkor and all the temples with their intricate carvings and large scale depictions of story lines being played out. We fell in love with the people through conversations had and hearts being shared.



Massive tree roots engulfing many of the structures in Ta Prohm.. amazing.



I now have a small piece of Cambodia etched into my memories and my heart. I will forever remember our time here and the impression it made on me. Looking forward I believe they will continue to build up and rise from the grief of the past. They will have the strength of overcoming the wreckage with them as they pull forward and continue on to the next chapter. Cambodia “The comeback kid of SE Asia”.


Bike Riding.. taking in all the massive sights


Enjoying our short period of quiet time in Angkor Wat, early morning before all the tourists show up

Colorful Beautiful People

This was the first blog I wrote, seems like ages ago... I felt it deserved to be revisited and revised... Both of these people and these places hold a special place in my heart so I wanted to share this once again...

One thing I have learned over this last year, or one could say my whole life yet didn’t appreciate until this year, is that we are a crazy collection of amazing, diverse, in-depth, at certain times narrow minded, beat down, and far too often a sold out group of colorful and beautiful people.

As I watch a person that I just meet, I can look in their eyes and see what drives them and inspires them, and ultimately what makes them tick. The intriguing way one person can be inspired by an activity, an organization, or even a job and another person the complete opposite, is a reflection of so much… childhood, experiences, circumstance, and a life which is alive and changing from one day to the next.

I will paint a picture of two recent encounters with two very different lives that has reminded me of embracing it all and learning and growing as you continue on in life’s curvy road. We are all so similar yet completely different…

I have met a person whose true love is being on the river. From the beginning the water captivates him, the stillness acting as almost a sanctuary, the waters ability to bring calmness to the soul and gives him time to reflect on life. Then to the unbelievable rapids and waterfalls that take his breath away and without even knowing give him a courage that drives his spirit in life and an aliveness that radiates from him, through his eyes and his smile that I admire, and I'm sure many people yearn for in life. To be truly driven by an activity turns it into being so much more. The river is perpetually moving onward and so will his life, taking him to amazing places and revealing to him his life’s purpose, through rivers and mountains and the beautiful people he meets along the way. The river becoming his powerful steadiness in an ever-changing life of tents and wilderness.



I then watch a person whose life started in New York, a city boy and business man at heart. A man who's personality is alive and electric. Someone who makes you smile by his exuberant quality without even meaning to. This is apparent in the way he moves in the business world and his social circle. Highlighting his duel ability to use not only his book smarts to his advantage, but also his natural ability to ease people’s tensions and make them feel comfortable, this makes him not only a true business man but also a true people person at heart. This is then backed by his intuitive ability to work a room at a party with a hot side kick on his arm. His inquisitive personality proves that he longs to learn more along the way, and open his heart and mind to new ideas and see the world in its ever-changing times. The way he asks me questions about life, circumstance, facts, and dreams motivates my mind and heart to do the same.



I embrace the thought of so many different and amazing people in a world that is vast and changing yet smaller than we know. A world that is completely open to us. To go from bluegrass in the woods, drinking wine from the bottle, under the endless skies and watching the stars. Lying on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere yet feeling completely in the center of everything. Then take me to the city, the sparkling lights and vibrant people, an aliveness that is intoxicating and can take your breath away. Drinking champagne on a yacht, singing to our favorite songs and laughing over moments shared. Amazing people, amazing conversations, and a view of Seattle in the distance, reminds me that life is short yet we have so much to offer during our stay.



As we learn from life and experience, we grow to know ourselves more and more. The colorful and beautiful people I am meeting along the way will continue to inspire me as these two did. These two men that are completely different, driven by completely different things, yet have the same sparkle in their eyes. I am ready to embrace the changes of life, to fall in love with eagerness and an excitement in my soul, in every setting from the river to the city. Continue to let my heart grow from the places that are ever so slowly being etched into its beatings.

What I know to be true... take three

What I know to be true in the truest way I know how to believe…. Take 3…the ever changing relationships…

I believe in respecting your mate as much as you love them, I believe that if you let your unfaltering respect for that person lead you, it will lead you when at times our humanity can get the best of us.

I believe in holding hands and taking walks together, even when you have been together forever. I can only hope to have my love by my side when I am old and grey and see our hands intertwined.

I believe that couples that pray together stay together (thank you Grandpa).

I believe in the power of words… you simply cannot take back words that hurt. You can never take back what was said in anger. You can apologize but the wound is already set, and that person who is standing in front of you should be the last person you want to have a wound that was inflicted by you.

I believe in having time to myself, time to process my life and thoughts, my loves and hopes and dreams… then right back in his arms I shall go.

I believe in calling each other baby and sweetheart, or anything that is completely corny and makes you blush to say it in public… I think pet names keep you reminded that this person knows you better than anyone else in this world.

I believe in finding the person who makes you feel beautiful even at your worse, who every day tells you that you are the best and reminds you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to them. And for my single lady’s I believe in holding out until you have just that…

I believe in being faithful. I believe that once you break trust, the respect is gone and if the respect is gone then what is the point... A harsh reality for many.

I believe in communication, that word that sounds like the “easy-psycho analyzes” of how to make a relationship work, but I truly believe this is the key to healthy relationships. I believe that when your person looks into your eyes, this person that knows your heart, they will desire to know how you feel and what you think and everything in between. So talk away, talk until you fall asleep in their arms for when you wake up in those arms you will know that you are exactly where you should be.

I believe that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your true love… (a gentle reminder for my single lady’s )…

I believe that you will have ups and downs on your amazingly long road together. I believe that this is ok and as long as at all times one person is ready to go to battle for the sake of the relationship your love will stay intact. As much as we don’t want it to happen our humanity causes us at times to have doubts and as long as the other person is ready to hold up their sword and fight for the love, the battle will be an easy victory.

All this said I believe in diving in head first… I believe in loving with all you have and not holding back. I believe that is how you will meet your true love… or get your heart broken, but I believe either outcome will be worth it knowing that you were all in, you loved fully and gave your whole heart.

Gorgeous Laos

Walking the dirt road, mile after mile to get to the villages

Sun is blazing, radiating off our skin

To my eyes we are so far from anywhere

To their eyes this is all they know to be true in this world.

These roads, these trees, the endless blue skies and my mind instinctively begins to wonder to what it is like for these people.



We enter the village, my skin so white and my eyes so light.

I am different.

My hair is different, my clothes are different, I speak differently, and they are curious.

We cannot communicate in the obvious ways; language a barrier

Only our eyes can speak.

The people come out of nowhere. Children of all ages; babies and toddlers, young adults and elders, their smiles so wide bearing signs of welcome and eagerness for us to join them.



As they pull out a bench, dust it for us to sit, I look around at their life, their village. A glimpse into their surroundings, how they live and what they do.
I see bamboo huts scattered around an open area, surrounded by forest. There are chickens, pigs, dogs, and sheep wandering about, sharing their life with the people of this village. The animal’s presence a quiet reminder that these people’s lives are basic at best and heartrending at the least. The women are squatting in a circle, hands busy shucking tamarinds, while the peanuts they already finished are drying on the tarp nearby.



I see babies carry babies, little girls with eyes that are timid and shy and little boys eager to play and show off their skills.Most have teeth, some are missing. Teeth are black, rotting or stained from the fruit of the local favorite, the beetle nut.



They smile and giggle at our attempts to communicate.

Their eyes light up as we give them the toys. The boys forming a circle to kick the ball, the girls lined up to color and draw with their new crayons… hesitant with this foreign object, watching with trepidation as I offer them a crayon.



As we leave, say our attempted goodbyes, my mind begins to ponder what is next for the colorful and beautiful people of these villages. These villages that have been there for longer than I know, doing the same thing they are doing now. They will continue on for this is all they know to be true. As we walk the dirt road, the miles it takes to get back to what is “town”, we can’t help but ponder this question….

Is this how it will be for them forever?



Creating the discussion and apparent debate…if they do continue on like this, take no heed from globalization and keep their culture as they know it to be true, is that wrong

Or

Is it actually wrong for me to inflict my biased opinion on what I believe to be true for how one should live?

After our talks and debates over our views on culture and human activity, I came away with this…walking away those days we spent in the villages, I couldn’t help but let my heart feel the sadness it was heavy with, sadness for the lack of health care and education, sadness for the lack of choices and the lack of knowledge that there are indeed choices.



But who am I to say how they live is neither right nor wrong, all I can do is hope for them. Hope that they find love and peace, happiness and joy, as is the hope for us all in this wild life. I am thankful to once again be able to see life is much different then I know to be true. Our reality of starbucks on every corner and shopping trips to Walmarts or Nordstroms is not real. Or maybe it is as real to us as the dirt roads are to the people of these villages. Making us exactly the same as them. Fulfillment will be found within ourselves and not within the walls of any mall or in any village that is on the banks of breathtaking waterfalls



Laos, you intrigued me from the beginning and prove to be one the most gorgeous places I have seen to date... You succeeded to teach me even more about how others live in this complex world, and provided a dazzling backdrop to my discoveries… Thank you

Finding Truth

Contentment

Don’t we all long for this status in our life? Strive to reach that state of pleasure that seems to be unknown to many, without realization that we are even striving for anything at all. Once we have it, encompass what we wanted in the first place, being able to recognize and appreciate this possession is what it means to truly be content.

The feeling of wanting something more seems to ring true so often, so as to our untrained and simple minds, this feeling becomes normal. This normalcy will have us thinking of what if there is something I am missing or what if there is more I haven’t done or seen. Longing can relate to everyday thoughts as well… if I was just able to get off work a little earlier then I would have more time, or if I buy that shirt I saw the other day then I would look nicer at work, I don’t have anything to wear…



These thoughts beginning to overtake the actual moments you are in. These thoughts without knowledge or foresight are taking away from the gratification and happiness you should be getting out of the time you are already in the middle of. The time that is given to you, the time you may have once hoped for or wanted for a reason, is happening right now. For you are right in the middle of your road.

I know that this is normal; this is our humanity at its finest. We all at times will long for something else, hope for something that is not being given to us. We will not understand that it is simply not meant for us at this time, keeping us from being content in what is meant for us at this time. We cannot wish daily for something that is not being given to us and be truly content with what we have. If we do this then our life plays out and we forget to cherish these moments that we are in. These moments that are more precious than the fictional account of an unhealthy daydream that our mind entangles into what we think we want.



The knowledge that we are all in this together, makes it seem a little easier to handle. Helps me, and hopefully you, to ponder the subject and be less hard on myself. Seeing that we all at times will hunger for what we think we want, may make it easier to swallow yet makes me that much more inclined to want to break out of the cycle. Realizing this and truly accepting this seems to counter each other, as if a war is being played out between my heart and my mind. The heart settling into a cozy comfort, feeling full with what has been given to me so graciously already. Then with this warm and content state the mind seems to sense that word contentment and starts to think of places I am yet to see and things I am still longing to do.



Our hearts and our minds are created to think about loves and hopes and dreams, I do not believe this to be wrong. To love with all your heart and to hope for peace and harmony are feelings that we were also given. To want good in this world, to fight for what you believe in and hold true to your beliefs, this will help you to know that you did not falter from truth. You can look at the moments that you are in and the road that you took with gratitude even if you are having a moment of nostalgia. If we listen and be silent, trust that our life is exactly where it should be, then contentment will follow. Once we can grasp this, once we are content always even when life is at its hardest, then that will be true happiness.


Philippians 4:11, Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

When I returned home from church today... this is the thought that stuck with me... When I put my trust in him, God puts my heart at ease..



(Pictures from our time in beautiful Laos... villages we visited, meeting amazing children and getting the opportunity to share with them)

Love knows no borders

As I travel and analyze the various people that I meet, the one thing that sticks out to me that is always, always characteristically the same… is our unfaltering obsession with love. Yes, that word that can make us either smile or cry depending on life’s moments we are in. The love I am speaking of here is the kind of love that we all inevitably, in some point of our lives, become obsessed with. Finding that person that makes your heart skip a beat and your mind race with thoughts of building a life together, or at least a few months or years. This simple act can become daunting and heartbreaking, but as with anything that can ultimately lead to a broken heart, the journey you took to get there is usually lined with euphoric joy and uncharted waters being explored…




So this simple act of finding love, to some, can become life’s biggest challenge and goal. Travelling this world I have seen that love in other lands is not always as easy as looking and finding. In some areas of the world the finding and discovery, the courting and quickened heart beats, is a luxury that many don’t get to explore. While their heart may ache for another, fate will make it so they are forced to turn their eyes away from the one person that they feel completes them.



To love by choice is a luxury that they will never know.

Their paths are laid out for them, their choices taken away, and they will do what they are told for the sake of the family. Love to them may turn into something different… giving love a meaning of its own. Love to them may not mean that you are able to spend your life with the person that was the first to make your heart ache for their arms, or the person that won your heart after a fight for your hand. But perhaps love may mean finding it in the security of the other that was appointed to you. Conceivably finding love in another through time instead of through heart and through growth instead of through courtship. This makes love take on a whole new meaning. Love is even more complicated than what we already knew to be true.

In most parts of America fortunately that is a feeling we are not faced with. We are free to love and free to choose who we love. Free to pick our mate for reasons merely of the heart and not due to social class, religion, nationality, or your family that you are born into. As I know that this is a luxury and a blessing, I also can remember distinctive times that this has felt like a curse. When you find love and then lose it, known happiness with another and then witnessed it fade before your eyes. In those times the thought of not having to bear the weight of choosing your person can seem appealing. When your heart is broken, when you cannot have the person that you feel is your soul mate, in those times it seems fitting that you just be placed with someone… for what does it matter if you can’t have the one your heart is aching for.



But knowing that we are the same everywhere reminds me that love is a blessing and not a curse. As I walked the roads in SE Asia, I witnessed love all around. I witnessed young girls giggling over boys, couples walking hand in hand on dirt lined roads. Whether we are born into poverty or into lavishness, our hearts all beat the same. We were given the ability to love another in all different forms. So we will. We will continue to love and dream. Let our minds wander to what is or what could be. Hope that what we have will last forever, perpetually bringing us back to what it is that brought us there to begin with. I read these words on a sign in Bali… They spoke to me then and remind me yet again today of the power of love.



“Love~ I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age, forever .

(All pictures by my love.. Mr Curt Joyce)

Charming Thailand

All pictures were taken by Mr. Curt Joyce.Thank you Curt for your amazing pictures and an unforgettable journey together through SE Asia!

Being home after a few months of travelling and seeing more of Gods beautiful land, I am ready to share some of my feelings and thoughts providing a glimpse into my time in SE Asia. As best as I can put my feelings, loves, heartaches, and realizations into words, the next few blogs are dedicated to my time away.

We arrived to Bangkok via New York. Going from one overwhelming and breathtaking city to the next was the perfect way to start the adventure. As with anytime you travel a good 24 hours in air time not to mention the travel time in between, you learn to hurry to wait, and then hurry once again. (Little did I know then that I would learn the art of this in SE Asia, as they seem to have this simple act down to an effortless tee )

We got into the bustling, mega city sleepy eyed and dragging our feet. As we were walking around, finally rested and able to comprehend the craziness around us, I saw new backpackers that had just arrived. I couldn't help but think that when you are in the middle of backpacking, feet dragging and exhaustion setting in, we all have that same look… the look of war victims. But it’s all worth it in the end, once you are able to put the pack down and rest your weary head for a bit, you will inevitably open your eyes with renewed energy, look around at the new beautiful part of the world you are about to explore, and smile to yourself forgetting the epic bus ride you just took or the indescribable journey that took many unforgettable hours. You now know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

So Bangkok it was. This massive city is filled with huge temples, amazing food, crazy roads, and monks everywhere. We stayed near Koh San road… the ever famous backpacker metropolis with lines of food carts, street vendors, and anything you can think of to buy. Although as fascinating as this area is at first, we quickly saw that the appeal fades fast. We soon realized why this is only a brief stopping point for most travelers. We decided to hit the road, travel by train, bus,plane, and motorbike all around this fascinating country… With beautiful culture, colorful people, and intriguing land, Thailand was the perfect place to start our epic adventure.

My first impressions of Thailand ranged from pure beauty in the enormous and vibrant temples, to dirty and nasty streets that were lined with garbage. As with so many of the countries I have visited, in certain areas cleanliness is lacking. You see things that will break your heart, wishing that you could fix it all. It is during those times that you feel helpless and useless to a solution, that you will inevitably be reminded of what truly matters.

The language barrier was larger than I predicted, English is spoken but scarcely, and the use of characters for letters made it nearly impossible for us to even guess as to what something means. But that is part of the appeal to me, travelling and seeing what is out there. Realizing that my normal is far unlike another’s normal, making me appreciate this world even more than before.

Buddhism is everywhere; this seemingly strange religion that I, unfortunately, really know nothing about. Seeing the passion that people overwhelmingly had for this religion, made me wish I knew a little more about it. I wish I understood what the big, fat, cute, and ebullient statue really stands for. As I settled into Thailand wishing I knew more of this religion, I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps ignorance could be better with this one. It would allow me to continue to look at what they are worshiping with unknowing eyes. It would enable me, in spite of everything, to only see the glistening shiny Buddha’s, monks in orange wandering the streets with smiles on their faces, and the glamorous temples that line the amazing hillside. But after this brief thought I decided that as with everything in this world, knowledge and truth always outweighs ignorance. And like most things, outer appearance means nothing over what is making up the inside.

As we continued to travel through SE Asia we learned more about this and many other religions. So many people in so many parts of this world are driven by such different and diverse religions. I am realizing that knowledge of these religions is important. It is important to know what it is that drives people, where their hearts lie. But even more important than learning of another’s beliefs, is to remember to keep your own ideas and beliefs on your God and your faith, unyielding and true. It is up to you to stand firm, uncompromising in what you believe in, and tell it to those that want to hear.

And so it was we started our journey learning and growing and seeing what people’s lives are like in this area of the world… Our journey with all its ups and downs has changed me once again with new found appreciation for what we have and what we actually need. I hope through these next few writings can express my heart and the beauty of what I saw along the way.