Promises

2010 you have only just begun, and I am already intrigued with you… From the first day of this year, which just so happened to have been my birthday, I have been surrounded with amazing, diverse, colorful and beautiful people. I wouldn’t have chosen to spend my birthday this year with anyone else besides the people I did, I felt loved and adored and so 2010 began.

Funny in life, as the days and years go on, you live and learn, grow and change every year. I feel you begin to think that not much will surprise you, but secretly knowing that something eventually will. You see things that break your heart, feel things of the same. You build your heart back stronger the next time around, build a fortress of steel, of protection for the next round. You also see more and more apparently that love is all around us. From embraces of love you see on the street, to acts of kindness that make you sigh with content and smile to yourself believing that love actually is all around us.

As I sit here on my back porch, basking in the sunshine of Washington, my journal blew open with the wind. This is the page it opened to “God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your power to remain firm; at the same time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.” 1st Corinthians 10

These words are all we need when I think about it. Our tests in our life will be here, at times slightly hidden and other times beyond apparent. But with these words he has given us is a promise that we are stronger than we know. Our tests are personal, as unique as we are. We are all completely different because of where we have been, and what we have seen along the way. Our tests change from day to day… What I am finding through this life and tests is this… most often the thought of something is far worse than the actual test. Our humanity sets in as we worry and become anxious of what will come, how we will fix the messes we get ourselves into. We lose sleep, wake up early only to lay there with an uneasiness of what’s next, what should I do… The thoughts are worse than the reality. This piece I wrote months ago comes to mind… a few words on the calm before the storm.



I now know what the calm feels like before a storm
Or the night feels like before a war

I feel helpless and quiet
Trying to grasp onto something to stand firm

I want to remember what it feels like right now
The warmth and the peace that the heart feels
And wants to hold onto

But the night is coming and the waves are beginning to crash
The weapons being drawn and the heart is retracing its steps

It is not as loud as you thought or as big as you imagined
As it begins to hurt, you begin to wonder if it will be too much

You close your eyes and a silence, a peace comes over you
It is now you realize God is there

He was there during the beginning, the planning and building of your wall
He is there and he is carrying you

He will not let you down to walk during this time
He is your rock and fortress during this war and the enemy has no weapons
Or words that can hold up to his greatness

It is then you realize the war is over
You have made it through and can see the light
The planning was worse than the war.