Endless Possibilities

Think of what you can do, think of all of the possibilities that you have ahead of you. Think of everything that is open to you now, you can do anything you want. You can go to faraway lands. You can get in your car, drive for hours only to stop to take pictures of the road taken and to write down your thoughts that have became alive in your mind with possibilities. You can think of the times you have had during your ride, that have changed you, and plan out your next journey to take. You can throw caution to the wind; rely only on your god to lead you, and accept all that comes your way. To dream of life and be open to all possibilities proves that you will have a life that is greater than you ever can imagine, and your imagination is great. You may hike to the top of mountains or scale the side to get to the river at the bottom, wade the water and come out at the other side. You may volunteer overseas, see things that will change you’re thinking forever and help others to a have a chance at a better life. You can use your love and inspiration to guide them to their new beginnings, and make an impact on people that is greater than you will ever know. You can run just as fast as you can, only to stop mid stride, and know that you are in the middle of your life where you are supposed to be at that moment. You can fall in love, fall so deeply in love that you give with all your heart and embrace all that comes along with it. You can put logic aside, jump in head first, only to find that you are forever changing, and forever growing. You can listen to people when they talk, have amazing conversations with equally amazing people of all different walks. Listen with your full heart, take away from your conversations, all of their hope and all of their inspiring stories that they have. Get inspired by people who have walked a different path than you, get so inspired that you try a different path the next time you leave your front door. Let other peoples stories inspire you to have your own remarkable stories to share, and tell them to everyone that will listen. Be completely open to error. We can only learn if there are mistakes along the journey. Grow, change, blossom into the flower that you are meant to be. You are free to feel, feel everything there is to feel all the way through this life. Feelings that will overtake your very essence at times, but feel them. Feel the sadness the joy, the amazing ups and downs that are inevitable to wash over you during your ride. The possibilities are endless and open, so write them down so that you are forever inspired of your ever changing hopes. I am forever thankful, and forever humbled by my amazing experiences that I am having through this crazy life.

The calm before the storm

Feel the warmth, the way it feels on your skin. The way it wraps around you like a blanket, making you feel safe, yet knowing it is coming. The fragile way you hold your emotions as if at any moment they will be changing. You only wish you could hold onto them, the way they are now, for one more second, and hoping the seconds will be enough to remember them as they are. You know you want the change and more importantly need the change, yet you only wish now, at this moment, for the moments to continue on a little longer. But now is the very moment it is changing. It comes in a wave, as if it is an ocean carrying your life in its embrace, in a current that is alive with your spirit, giving it the freedom to soar. Rather than the devastation that you expect to feel from the change, relief is the first wave that settles over your body. It sooths your conscious and lifts you up. Your first glimpse of a new certainty and a new beginning so relieved to feel for the first time that you were right and can trust yourself and have peace with your decision. The second wave is a bit of sadness for the loss of what once was a dream, a dream that in your reality at that time was all you thought you needed or would ever want. The wave is inevitable because any loss, whether for the best or not, comes with a bit of sorrow over what could have been and what was once your vision that is now being let go. You embrace this wave as well knowing in your heart that it deserves to be mourned. To be buried in your heart along with every other thing you can remember about that time of your life that did not work and has to be let go. This turns the wave into a celebration of the experiences that you have had in turn changing and shaping you into the very person and being that you need to be in order for now to be happening. Thankfulness is the last wave, the wave that carries you to the shore and lands you gently on your feet. So thankful for whom you have become, and for all that is to come. Thankful to be walking on the shore, away from the waves, and heading to a land that is full of promise and new beginnings. You now know you will continue to know yourself better through every wave, and every storm in this crazy life.

The Gates

A piece of poetry I wrote in 1995…. I was 15.


As I walk through the gates, anxiously excited for what awaits
I see my savior standing there, his face is full of love and care
I look around and what I see, takes my breath away from me
Angels soaring high and low, and to my right a little doe
He brings be gently in his arm, and whispers you are out of harm
I didn’t know what to say, he says hush my child you are here to stay
I start to sob a joyful cry, in those clouds up way so high
The beautiful sights that I now see, will be my home for eternity
No more fret or worry or strife, I made it through my long hard life
With the greatest reward that could be, to be with my savior and all I see.

Daddy's Hands

So I found this piece that I wrote in 1996… makes me smile, I loved to write even then.. Hope you like it. It was a bit hard for me to leave as is and not make changes, but here it is...


As she stepped outside of the ragged apartment she’d called home all her life, a blast of cold air chilled her face. She began to walk. She walked past the park where she rode her bike for the first time. She remembered the way she felt when her father let go and let her go freely by herself, she didn’t fall once and she was happy and her father was proud.
She walked past the ice cream shop, where every Sunday afternoon her dad would take her and let her pick out any kind of ice cream she wanted. She remembered how happy she felt trying to lick it down before it melted in the hot sun, and how her daddy would laugh at the sight of his little angel covered in chocolate.
She walked past the grad school where her father led his little girl, wide eyed and knees shaking, into the kindergarten class. She remembered how sad she was when her father had to leave, and she had to let go of his big hand that seemed to comfort and lead her. She remembered how his eyes watered as she cried and begged him to stay, but how he knew he must go.
She finally comes to the cemetery where her father now lies. She kneels down, thinking of the good times she’d had with her daddy. She wishes now more than ever, that she could hold on to daddy’s hand and have him tell her everything’s going to be alright.

Letting Go

There is something to be said with those words, the simple words that seem to weigh you down, yet set you free at the same time. The simplicity of saying it, yet the weight of what it means, overwhelms and clouds your focus of what reality really is. So many times and so many circumstances make you want to hold on as long as you can and doubt what you know to be true. I have learned that it can turn poisonous for your heart if you hold on for too long, and don’t give it away and trust yourself in the process. Time I am finding is the only thing that will make you strong enough and at peace enough to truly move on. Trusting yourself, knowing who you are and what makes you complete, is the foundation of empowering yourself to move on. Loss in any situation, whether it is through choice or circumstance, is not an easy process. It takes you through the memories that you have stored, one by one, giving them an aliveness and realness with all their beauty and all there ugliness together once more. It then puts them to rest, one by one, and gives them peace for they have had your attention, thoughts and emotions for the last time. They are forever a part of who you are and who you have become, but will not overtake you, or entangle your thoughts in a web of confusion any longer. It is overwhelming, remembering the good makes it hard to breath, and hard to let it rest which is why you have held on for so long. I have felt the gravity of what it means in your life to truly let something go that makes your heart feel empty, and your stomach ache with a longing that seems to be never ending. There are times when you realize that to let it go is the only thing that you can do, that you are not given another choice. These are the times that can make you grasp for the ability to take control and fix the unfixable in a last attempt to change what is not in your hands. You secretly hope that maybe if you let it go, it will come back to you stronger yet knowing you are forever stronger for letting it go for now. There are also times when you are in control, that you do have a choice and letting go is what you choose. These times are just as hard, for you rely strictly on your heart and your strength and your trust in yourself to change your life as you know it. I know my heart is forever stronger, forever changed by the times I have had. I have found that through loss and letting go, I have gained insight and inspiration for the time to come. I have loved with all I have and learned along the way. Letting go is a powerful process that turns the page to the next chapter of your life.

Colorful and Beautiful People

One thing I have learned over this last year, or one could say my whole life yet didn't realize until this year, is that we are a crazy collection of amazing, diverse, indepth, at times narrow minded, beat down, and sold out group of colorful and beautiful people. As I watch a person that I just meet, I can see who they are what drives them, inspires them, and makes them tick. The intriguing way one person can be inspired by another person or an activity, an organization, or even a job and another the complete opposite is a reflection of so much,childhood, experiences, circumstance, and life which is alive and changing from one day to the next. I will paint a picture of a recent encounter with two different lives that has reminded me of embracing it all and learning as you go. I have met a person who's true love is being on the river. Paddling down the water, from the stillness that acts as almost a sanctuary at times, with the waters ability to bring calmness to the soul and gives him time to reflect on life. To the unbelieveable rapids and waterfalls that take his breath away and without even knowing give him a courage that drives his spirit in life and an aliveness that radiates from him, through his eyes and his smile that I admire, and I'm sure many people yearn for in life. To be truly driven by an activity turns it into being so much more, a powerfull steadiness in an everchanging life of tents and wilderness. I then watch a person who's life started in NewYork, a city boy and buisness man at heart. A man who's personality is alive and electric. Someone who makes you smile by his exuberant quality without even meaning to. This is apparant in the way he moves in the buisness world and his social circle. The quality to win people over with his ideas around buisness and his company, and his easy going way to ease peoples tensions and make them feel comfortable. A people person in every way, backed by an intuative ability to work a room at a party with a hot side kick on his arm. His inquisitve personality proves that he longs to learn more along the way, and open his heart and mind to new ideas and see the world in its everchanging times. The way he asks me questions about life, circumstance, facts, and dreams motivates my mind and heart to do the same. . I embrace the thought of so many different and amazing people in a world that is vast and changing yet smaller whan we know and completely open to us. To go from bluegrass in the woods, drinking wine from the bottle, laying under the endless skies, watching the stars and taking in the very essence of life. Laying on a dirt road in the middle of nothing yet in the center of everything at the same time. Then take me to the city, the sparkling lights, and aliveness that is intoxicating and can take your breath away. Drinking champagne on a yaught, enjoying music and company of all different walks of life. Amazing people, amazing conversation, and a view of Seattle in the distance, reminds me that life is short yet we have so much to offer during our stay. As we learn from life and experience, we grow to know ourselves more and more. We grow into peope that every day, every moment, and every circumstance make an impact on every one else around us. I am ready to embrace the changes of life and love with an eagerness and an excitement in my soul in every setting from the river to the city.