The Perplexity of Prejudices

Prejudice... “An unfavorable opinion or feeling formed before hand or without knowledge, thought, or reason” –Dictionary.com


I would like to believe that humanity would never do this on purpose. People actually thinking and speaking on something they know nothing about, holding themselves on a pedestal and believing that what they are, who they are and how they are… is any better than someone else. Because, after all, what you believe to be true may be completely different than another merely because of the different paths you have taken in life. To me it is that easily explained triggering the much debated question… how can we not all see this? How can we not all know that there is no right way, there is only what we know which is completely different than what our neighbor knows… so there is no right or wrong, just different. Simple right?



Prejudice, to me, is a word that invokes udder sadness. A word of unconscious hate, a word that limits someone’s ability to see the world as it actually is… full of lives that are beautiful, colorful, alive, and thriving. As we grow and change, our eyes open to new ideas. I believe that when you have a deep rooted prejudice, sometimes it is hard for yourself to see. We get stuck on a course that keeps you from thinking outside of what you normally do. We go to the same places and talk to the same people, stay close to what we know in order to feel safe. It is when we are not careful of this complacent state of existence, that our learned behaviors can become prejudices.



To be able to learn new cultural ways of thinking is the key to keeping this world a world free of prejudice. There are billions of us on the planet.. But as DeGenova puts it so well “Imagine what it would be like if the whole world were populated by people just like you”. The travelling I have done has only begun to open my eyes to the vast amount of cultures there are to learn about. I want to see it all, strip myself of any prejudices that I may have, hold myself accountable for every thought and every emotion that I have and be conscious of each one of them. This world is so much bigger than the United States of America. Every day billions of people on this planet live such extremely, astonishingly, incredibly and mind-bogglingly different lives. With each story completely matchless, with each story having the possibility that it could have been you, how could we ever hold an “unfavorable opinion or feeling" about someone's story?

Can you feel my heart?

Do you believe that if you think about someone hard enough; think about their heart and their soul, their eyes and their hands, just maybe you can make them feel you. Make them feel your thoughts as if you are standing there looking into their eyes and feel your touch as if you are right there holding their hand. I feel like our hearts are powerful forces therefore I can’t help but wonder if my whole heart and soul is thinking about another person, how could they not feel it no matter where they are.

There have been so many times in my life when I long for someone that is not with me. Times when I miss someone or just can’t get them out of my head, times when our pure humanity overwhelms my mind and I feel that if I am quiet long enough I can make them feel what I feel.



We are all unique yet exactly the same in our hearts. I hear stories of heart break and loss, these stories are of people who have lost their true loves to forces of this world, or lost the ones they love through forces unknown to us. Loss and gain in this life continues to drive our minds and our hearts, overtaking our spirits at times, driving us towards never-ending thoughts and powerful realizations. Countless hours spent in meditation of sorts, countless hours worth of thoughts being sent out into this world, how can they not be felt?

Whether you miss someone because they are far away yet still planted on our soil, or you miss someone who is not with us anymore but with our maker, or you miss someone that has changed and grown and moved on in this world, I believe our hearts tend to ache the same. Anytime you are longing for a person that is not in your arms, the bleeding feels the same to you.



So the question remains the same and the answer has to be yes. If we close our eyes and think about their touch and their words, think of the moments shared that are only real to the people that were in those moments, close our eyes and send our heart to theirs, they will feel it. They have to feel it; this is what makes it easier for the one that is aching.

It is then, after you send those thoughts out into the world, after you gave those thoughts your time and your energy that you have to let them go. The thoughts that are taking up your time, this precious time that you are given, have to be released while resting assured that you will not forget them. Your moment that you are in now is your time to make new memories, while storing the others deep in your heart. Releasing the never ending thoughts gives you the power to grow; keeping them in is hindering the process.

Light in this world

Figuring out what you are intended to leave behind, seems to me to be the same thing as figuring out what you are supposed to do with your life. For what greater thing is there than to be a light and a voice of motivation when you are here, and when you are gone to be a memory that lights another’s path and an inspiration to change the seemingly unchangeable.

We all have different views as to what will make us happy, a good job, a big family, a nice house, or travelling the world… We are all similar in the sense that we all long for happiness and all at times go through seasons of wondering why we are not happy and struggle to figure out what we can do to get to that point.

Realizing that we all have something special that not everyone has is such a powerful realization. We all have the ability to turn on a light in a dark room, be the inspiration that another person needs to go on. We all have gone through battles of war, whether it is the war of love or the war of family burdens, the war of losing a loved one or the war of feeling completely lost in this crazy and hectic world. The wars are endless, but so are the impacts that we can make during the wars.

So often I am inspired by those I meet, or those I hear. The voices that are out there to inspire, to share the stories of strength and the stories of survival, those who have overcome more than I, and those that have seen wars that I cannot imagine. The stories that inspire me to not take for granted the times of peace that surround us. There are hero’s that are no different than you or I, they just have a different story and their struggles are neither worse nor harder, they are just different. For we all are who we are, because we all have been on different paths that are completely unique to each and every one of us.

It is my hope that it will be clear to each of us what it is that we are supposed to leave behind. Our legacy that can be anything we make it to be, as long as it reflects our hearts. I long for my heart to be mirrored through my actions, my tongue to be impeccable with my word, and my life to be a reflection of growth and change while I listen to the stories that people share of wars that have been won and wars that still need to be conquered.

Who are we to judge..

I was thinking today about how I use the words ‘what I know to be true’. What does that even mean… for what I know to be true can be completely different than what you know to be true, so how is anything really truth? My perception of truth is biased to what I have seen and felt, and what you know to be true is biased to what you have seen and felt … So who is right?

Maybe the answer is we both are right.



In our life we move forward quickly. We take steps in different directions, see things and try them out. Depending on where we end up, which path we take, we see various ways of living and thinking. We encounter different people with completely different outlooks on life, and hopefully decide for ourselves if we agree with them or if we should take our own stance. We take it all in and use our own character to make our own opinions as to what is right and what is wrong in this world. With this, my hope is that we remember that these opinions we create for ourselves are just that. Our own ideas on life and truth and we will not be quick to judge another for having a different view on their own life…



Who are we to judge anyone? It always hits me when I hear people talking about another person. Who are we to judge anything about any one when we have never walked in their shoes? How is it feasible to believe that we can make assumptions of what is true for another? What we think is just that, our completely unique opinions based solely on our distinct path and situations that we have seen. Maybe we are better off remembering to be impeccable with our own word, remembering what it is like to be judged.



Thinking about all this today, I came away with this… Since I believe that what I know to be true in this world is based solely on where I have been, situations I have encountered, and who I meet along the way, all I can do is continue to do just that. I will do all I can to go places I have never been… for how can I speak to something if I have never seen it. I will put myself in situations that I never thought about trying, just to experience more of all that is out there. I will introduce myself to people; listen to their stories and their hearts, because they might know truth that I have yet to see or be able to open my heart to things I never knew people have gone through.



Lastly I will try to speak less, use silence as an answer. Speak less on things I know nothing about. Making a note to later find out all there is to know on the subject. There is a whole world that is waiting to be explored. Vast subjects that I know nothing about, waiting to be researched and pondered… Opening our hearts to new ideas will keep us from falling into the trap of judging without knowledge or forethought.

You are Perfect to Me

You are perfect to me. How lucky are we if in our lives we find another human being that looks at you with those words in their heart? There is something to be said about that feeling of comfort. When the one you love looks at you with eyes that mirror your own adoration, a complete feeling of gratitude hits you with a wave of emotion.

Growing up I have had my own turn at love. Love gained and love lost. I have seen other pairs with hearts that are the same and others who seem to suffer with the one they are with, for that is all they know to be true.

So when that is true and all you know to be true seems to be unknowingly, or sometimes quite knowingly, wounding your soul, how do you open your eyes and see that there is more out there. Do you listen to your girlfriends ( or man friends) while keeping in mind the ability to read between the lines is key… for we all know how hard it is to tell a friend that the one they are with is not worthy of their time or affections. Do we listen to mom or dad… secretly wondering if they are just biased because you are their baby…Or do you listen to your heart. Stay silent and listen. If that is your choice, I hope you ponder this before your time of reflection, contemplating life’s ever evolving lessons you will find on love…



The person you are with should be able to make you smile just by hearing the sound of their name. They should call you baby or sweetheart with so much affection it seems that this is the only name they know you by. They should look at you when you are unaware and feel surrendered to gratitude that you love them back. They should tell you that you are best thing that has ever happened to them, and you should feel the same. They should search the room at a party, only to lock eyes and make you feel like you are the only person in the room. When they are away they should call you before bed, just to tell you that it is hard to sleep without you by their side. .. most importantly when you are together, no matter if it is daily or monthly, every moment should feel like a moment that you are blessed with. More time that you were given in this crazy life to love each other unconditionally.



So it is. Love and life, choices and sacrifices. Who in the end is worthy of spending our time with. I heard those words today “you are perfect to me” and was reminded how lucky I am to truly feel that the person I am with looks at me with those words in his heart. I think that we all deserve that and more. I know that I could have used many, many gentle reminders of this in my life… so here is one for you. You are perfect to someone and it is in that moment of finding them that you will realize that they are completely perfect to you as well.

Pretty Girls

Baby girls your whole life is ahead of you… As you grow remember this…

Remember to love with all you have, let your eyes and your smile radiate that love for everyone to see

Remember that the world is full of life! Full of open roads that are waiting for you to travel down



Know that you can do it all; you can do anything you believe you can and please believe you are stronger than you even know

Remember to use every talent you are given, and to do something creative everyday



Believe in yourself; believe that you are the person that can change the world, and do everything you can to do so

Remember to sing, dance, praise, and love; let your spirit free



Remember to take a deep breath, the road can get bumpy but it is your road and you are the driver

Run full force ahead, only stopping to take it all in and to take the time to see the beautiful road you have already travelled down

Most of all remember that you are unique and one of a kind, your thoughts and loves and views are waiting to be heard



As you continue on you will grow and learn, you will cry countless tears and laugh a thousand laughs… this is your life, your journey, and your time to shine! So remember to smile through your tears, embrace the ups and downs that you will face and rest assured that you are loved more than you know.

Cambodia.. "The comeback kid of SE Asia"

I wrote this during my time in Cambodia.. All the remarkable photographs were taken by Mr. Curtis Joyce... His pictures can tell a thousand words.




I saw a man wearing a shirt today, it read “War is costly, peace is priceless”. Those words spoke an indefinable truth to me today as I was walking through Siem Reap, Cambodia. This country, these people, all they have overcome, inspiring me to tell part of their story. Seeing their quiet demeanor with their gentle humor makes me have a constant smile on my face, and as I walk I notice so does everyone else.

They call Cambodia “The comeback kid of SE Asia” and after my first few days of visiting this awesome country my hope is this prophecy is correct. Cambodia when you look around seems to be alive in every way. The people are happy and lively, they have a sparkle in their eye and always a joke to make you laugh. The landscape is beautiful and the awe inspiring Angkor Wat draws thousands and thousands of eager tourists to Siem Reap, the quaint city that surrounds this unique and powerful wonders.



The powerful sights of Angkor Wat



Since the 1970s Cambodia has endured heartache after heartache through genocide, war, landmines, and the hands of individuals plagued with the wrong idea of what is right and what is so obviously wrong, the Khmer Rouge. To this day Cambodia is still dealing with landmines that are yet to be exploded and over 40,000 Cambodians have suffered amputations as a result of landmines. At the rate of cleanup for these landmines it is said it will take 100 years to rid this country of the landmines that are still in existence.



Photos taken at the Landmine museum in Siem Reap



As so many countries have seen in the past, the many years of war and killing haunt the now peaceful land. You can sense a quiet shadow as if the land and the people are in waiting, waiting for it to start a new. Holding their breath and slowly releasing while looking around to see if the peace is still here, and for now it seems it is.

Being here, seeing the land and seeing the beautiful faces, you can’t help but cry out with remorse over wrongs done to them. Cry out with pain when you see children with no parents, and cry out with anguish when you see the land mine victims still overcoming, continuing on with a gentle grace. There is hope here and it is growing daily. Hope that harmony will be a constant and lives will be rebuilt. Hope that they will always remember “war is costly, peace is priceless”.


A group of landmine victims playing music and raising money

Angkor Wat and Siem Reap are slowly taking advantage of its newfound status as “Asia’s historic hot spot”. This of course drawing more and more backpackers and travelers from all over the world, we included. Our time here is almost indescribable. We watched the sunrise over Angkor Wat, and watched it set from the top of the temple Pre up in Angkor Wat.


Sunrise over Angkor Wat on Curt's Birthday


Watching the sunset on top of the temple Pre Up

We visited a land mine museum, became educated on the calamity of landmines. We walked the markets of Siem Reap and bought beautiful scarves. We rode our bikes mile after mile in the glowing sun to see the amazing sights of Angkor and all the temples with their intricate carvings and large scale depictions of story lines being played out. We fell in love with the people through conversations had and hearts being shared.



Massive tree roots engulfing many of the structures in Ta Prohm.. amazing.



I now have a small piece of Cambodia etched into my memories and my heart. I will forever remember our time here and the impression it made on me. Looking forward I believe they will continue to build up and rise from the grief of the past. They will have the strength of overcoming the wreckage with them as they pull forward and continue on to the next chapter. Cambodia “The comeback kid of SE Asia”.


Bike Riding.. taking in all the massive sights


Enjoying our short period of quiet time in Angkor Wat, early morning before all the tourists show up