Living Into Our Moments

I believe that all too often we spend our time feeling as though we are walking this world without a purpose. Wandering around hoping that our eyes will become open to the possibilities that surround our current time, and for some, not even absorbing that there are theoretical possibilities that encircle our very beings. Some of us getting caught in the trap of our own paradox.

For reasons unknown to us, time is continuing to be granted to those still walking on this earth. Time is made up of moments that are drifting away slowly. For some, these moments are lost without utilizing them to gain a better comprehension of the purity of enlightened knowledge that is within our reach.

I am here to start the process of believing in this meaning. The meaning of living into our moments and using our time to begin to understand our purpose.

This precious time that we are currently in, is being granted to us now from a hand that is bigger than we understand. Literally being poured out as I write these words, or as you kayak down the river, or while others sit at their old familiar desks.

Time that has a mutual relationship with places we do not see with our eyes.

Time that is made up of moments that are beautiful and excruciating and terrifying... and sometimes all of these things at once.

Time that is of its very core, spiritual. Eternal beings working to figure out what our current time is all about.

I believe that part of our purpose here is to search for that meaning, the meaning of time, while believing in the current moments that we are in. The complex dance of doing both of these things without agonizing about what the next moment will entail.

We are blessed with questions that surround our consciousness. Why am I chosen to be in this current moment while some are not? How can I be the beautiful person that was mindfully made perfectly in every detail, while I continue to walk forward with mistakes around every corner?

Mistakes are the fears that we hold onto.

We are constantly standing on the edge of something bigger than we know. I want to know that edge, be comfortable with the curve of the side and hopeful that the understanding of what is on the other side will be shown to me as I live in this moment.

My fear is that our current moments will become obsolete if we fail to live into them. Replaced with something new, always hoping that the new moment will be better than the last. Waiting for a second chance when the first is being presented gracefully with our purpose wrapped tightly in the center. Our purpose is within these current moments. Some are quiet and some are loud. Some shake us to the core while others drive us to tears. Perhaps part of the answer of our purpose lies in keeping an alert consciousness while beginning to live into our life-changing, all encompassing, quiet moments.

Rivers and Cliffs

This life is leading me down rivers that I never even knew existed. From the valley of my home town to the mountains of my new, I am enamored by the river of life that makes up the pages in-between.

I have fallen in love many times in my life. Not just in relationships with other people, but with other passions that take up my time. I have fallen hard and fast without leaving room for the idea that not everything works out. Somehow, during these times of jumping off the cliffs hoping that the water is calm below,  I have realized that the experience of jumping can be just as powerful as the mind blowing love waiting below... and I now know the depths of the risks associated with these jumps.

I continue to walk on cliffs.  Following my heart to new places with risk that at any time the side of the path that I am walking on may crumble into the river below. It can be terrifying and exhilarating, all wrapped up together so intricately that I can’t tell the difference between the two extremes. As if they are the same emotions playing dance together in the rain. A beautiful dance being played out on the side of this cliff, hoping for the best but being content with knowing the worst is just around the corner.  

As I walk along this journey with raging rivers below waiting to catch me when I fall or when I choose to jump, I am continuously transfixed by the moving water below. My eyes search for normalcy, trying to define new ways of normal in an ever changing journey of rivers and cliffs. My hands reach out to touch the cliff walls and the water below me. My heart search is complete, in these moments of silence. Content with the knowledge that I now know the depths of the top and the bottom.

I cry out for the past and am enamored by the future. The current moments hold my attention, my eyes looking to what is standing next to me, quietly surrendered to these beautiful moments that are making up every page of the journey onward.

As this life leads us up and down valleys and mountains, the river is waiting for us. Calling out to remind us that this cycle of life will continue on as we choose to play it safe or find love by finding the perfect place to jump off of the cliff.