My Soul Sings~ Joy To The World

Christmas time is a time of sweet wonder. Christmas morning has a magical feel of softness in a world that often feels hard and rushed. The sweet surrender to a morning of family and gifts, reading about Jesus’s birth and singing softly the songs that have been serenading our presence for the last few weeks. 

As I sit here basking in the gentle light of my baby Christmas tree, on the Eve of Christmas, I feel somewhat far away from these usual feelings and far away from the smells and sounds from the past. But, as I sit here, I feel something different than I have in a while, I feel content.  I feel full of God’s Love, and although I sit here alone, I feel surrounded by His light.

Over the last few weeks I have thought about how, for some, Christmas time is a season of unbearable pain. We spend years making these traditions that involve our Love’s. We tinker with different ideas about how Holiday’s will go and when we will do this and how we will do that. We believe in our decisions, we believe that they will last. We speak only of the future as if it will always be there, never as if it might fade away and leave a void.

When I really stop and meditate in the Light of what this season is about, I remind myself that Christmas is magical and beautiful for a reason. Jesus.

During this quiet contemplation I realize that I can not let this season cause me pain.

For I believe that all days are hard, some days excruciating and some days bearable, and as I know that anniversaries mark reminders of time moving forward, so does every morning that I take another breath. So, I will not let anniversary’s define my sadness level. I will cry if I need to but I will also find joy as I sit in the glow of the Christmas tree.  

As I sit here tonight in our quiet home, I feel content. I miss my Love and I wish that he were here to fulfill these traditions that we started. But, I know that he is indeed here, it's just different now. He is just around the corner. No further than I allow him to be. I am grateful for this knowledge and grateful for his presence that feel all around me.

As I go to rest this Christmas Eve, I am very aware of the blessings that I have. Christmas morning will be different and raw, but it will still be a representation of the birth of Jesus. For that my soul sings. Joy to the world.