Letting Go

There is something to be said with those words, the simple words that seem to weigh you down, yet set you free at the same time. The simplicity of saying it, yet the weight of what it means, overwhelms and clouds your focus of what reality really is. So many times and so many circumstances make you want to hold on as long as you can and doubt what you know to be true. I have learned that it can turn poisonous for your heart if you hold on for too long, and don’t give it away and trust yourself in the process. Time I am finding is the only thing that will make you strong enough and at peace enough to truly move on. Trusting yourself, knowing who you are and what makes you complete, is the foundation of empowering yourself to move on. Loss in any situation, whether it is through choice or circumstance, is not an easy process. It takes you through the memories that you have stored, one by one, giving them an aliveness and realness with all their beauty and all there ugliness together once more. It then puts them to rest, one by one, and gives them peace for they have had your attention, thoughts and emotions for the last time. They are forever a part of who you are and who you have become, but will not overtake you, or entangle your thoughts in a web of confusion any longer. It is overwhelming, remembering the good makes it hard to breath, and hard to let it rest which is why you have held on for so long. I have felt the gravity of what it means in your life to truly let something go that makes your heart feel empty, and your stomach ache with a longing that seems to be never ending. There are times when you realize that to let it go is the only thing that you can do, that you are not given another choice. These are the times that can make you grasp for the ability to take control and fix the unfixable in a last attempt to change what is not in your hands. You secretly hope that maybe if you let it go, it will come back to you stronger yet knowing you are forever stronger for letting it go for now. There are also times when you are in control, that you do have a choice and letting go is what you choose. These times are just as hard, for you rely strictly on your heart and your strength and your trust in yourself to change your life as you know it. I know my heart is forever stronger, forever changed by the times I have had. I have found that through loss and letting go, I have gained insight and inspiration for the time to come. I have loved with all I have and learned along the way. Letting go is a powerful process that turns the page to the next chapter of your life.

Colorful and Beautiful People

One thing I have learned over this last year, or one could say my whole life yet didn't realize until this year, is that we are a crazy collection of amazing, diverse, indepth, at times narrow minded, beat down, and sold out group of colorful and beautiful people. As I watch a person that I just meet, I can see who they are what drives them, inspires them, and makes them tick. The intriguing way one person can be inspired by another person or an activity, an organization, or even a job and another the complete opposite is a reflection of so much,childhood, experiences, circumstance, and life which is alive and changing from one day to the next. I will paint a picture of a recent encounter with two different lives that has reminded me of embracing it all and learning as you go. I have met a person who's true love is being on the river. Paddling down the water, from the stillness that acts as almost a sanctuary at times, with the waters ability to bring calmness to the soul and gives him time to reflect on life. To the unbelieveable rapids and waterfalls that take his breath away and without even knowing give him a courage that drives his spirit in life and an aliveness that radiates from him, through his eyes and his smile that I admire, and I'm sure many people yearn for in life. To be truly driven by an activity turns it into being so much more, a powerfull steadiness in an everchanging life of tents and wilderness. I then watch a person who's life started in NewYork, a city boy and buisness man at heart. A man who's personality is alive and electric. Someone who makes you smile by his exuberant quality without even meaning to. This is apparant in the way he moves in the buisness world and his social circle. The quality to win people over with his ideas around buisness and his company, and his easy going way to ease peoples tensions and make them feel comfortable. A people person in every way, backed by an intuative ability to work a room at a party with a hot side kick on his arm. His inquisitve personality proves that he longs to learn more along the way, and open his heart and mind to new ideas and see the world in its everchanging times. The way he asks me questions about life, circumstance, facts, and dreams motivates my mind and heart to do the same. . I embrace the thought of so many different and amazing people in a world that is vast and changing yet smaller whan we know and completely open to us. To go from bluegrass in the woods, drinking wine from the bottle, laying under the endless skies, watching the stars and taking in the very essence of life. Laying on a dirt road in the middle of nothing yet in the center of everything at the same time. Then take me to the city, the sparkling lights, and aliveness that is intoxicating and can take your breath away. Drinking champagne on a yaught, enjoying music and company of all different walks of life. Amazing people, amazing conversation, and a view of Seattle in the distance, reminds me that life is short yet we have so much to offer during our stay. As we learn from life and experience, we grow to know ourselves more and more. We grow into peope that every day, every moment, and every circumstance make an impact on every one else around us. I am ready to embrace the changes of life and love with an eagerness and an excitement in my soul in every setting from the river to the city.